NFL loses the keys

So as promised I've been writing a second blog on another farce, but i'd like to take a brief, but sickening moment to look back on the farce I mentioned last time. I've noticed that my advice to a certain Daniel Meier has obviously not been taken as he's written another 2 blogs. You can read his regurgitated opinion here, you can even listen to a song by a band that describe themselves as "3rd wave ska punk reggae dub" if you want, i must have missed those first two waves...

Having recovered from the onset of nausea let's move on to the real meat of this weeks blog. As Mr Cameron seems all too keen to remind us times are tough, and even big businesses are having to tighten there metaphorical belts in preparation for the metaphorical prostate exam that governments across the world are soon to embark upon. That is of course you live in the world of professional sport. Now before you stop reading and cast aside another dull instalment do stick with me! For I promise* not only does this blog inform, but it entertains, unlike some blogs of people who are 'studenting' (more on this next time possibly).

The National Football League (NFL) is a company which runs the league of American football teams that is most widely followed in the states, it’s there equivalent of the Premier league. Unlike Football in England however this structure has not always been stable taking on many forms throughout the years. Even now there is a rival league to the NFL in the form of the UFL (United Football league) with a smattering of teams with similarly ridiculous names. The NFL lasts from season to season based upon a Collective Bargaining Agreement (CBA) which sets out the rules of the sport, off field activities and most importantly pay. Every so often a CBA reaches near the end of its contracted period and teams, players and owners have to renegotiate the terms of the agreement.   

In 2008 it was decided that a new CBA was to be agreed. A date was set for a new CBA to be created by March 3^rd 2011, and put simply this hasn’t happened. As a result the Owners of all the NFL teams have hidden the keys to their stadiums and training facilities, and players now have to look for them so that they can begin preparing for the new season. (Hence the term “lockout”) Unfortunately the search for these keys has been about as successful as the navy seals attempt to find Osama Bin Laden the McCanns search for the daughter they killed. Which could ultimately mean that there is no football next year

One of the problems is that some owners would rather not have a salary cap at all. They’d rather use the 'small' fortunes that they have accumulated to be able to pay as much as they like. Hiring the best players to simply buy trophies in what has become known as the “Manchester city” school of thought. For example Dallas cowboys’ owner Jerry Jones would rather win championships then worry about creating a league which is equal and entertaining (possibly because this will make his investment more valuable). Either way he doesn’t care, because if there are no games next year he can use the 60 yard TV in Cowboys stadium to watch babestation.

Great Quality TV Jerry! What is that 32 DD?

NFL owners have said they will tell the players where the keys are hidden if they are given money. First it is vital to explain in this particular sport all the revenue raised from ticket sales, advertising, broadcasting and whatever is given to the NFL Corporation in the form of a healthy $9 billion pie.   Under the old CBA the owners were entitled to a healthy if rather filling slice of $1 billion! The players are then left to fight to the death over 60% of the pie in what is known as the salary cap. The victorious player is the given a “super bowl” in which to eat there lukewarm desert.

John Madden Won his Super Bowl in 1976 with the Oakland Raiders

However in the last 5 years since the 2006 CBA the owners claim that the cost of running an NFL team has risen and that $2.4 billion should cover the hardship. Ignoring the (un) likelihood that these billionaires do have an inflation rate of 19% pa. They propose that the players should hence take a pay cut of 18% to ease the financial burden. Don’t worry though this money won’t be coming from household NFL names like Tiger Woods and Bruce Springsteen. Rather from the rookies and practice squad players who don’t own Ferraris but still have families to feed.

Still at least we've still got basketball...

Speaking of basketball and barak obama

* this is a liberal democrate promise